Hysterical Inaccuracy.

273 years old and still showing his teeth... George Washington Gets Extreme Makeover and a new kind of revisionist history is made. Surely most of us grew up with the stories of our Founding Father cutting down a cherry tree.

The story goes that the wind was howling that day as Washington's powder wig flew to the top of a cherry tree. As he attempted to chop it down, to retrieve his toupee, his aim was a little low as he hit a stone near the root. The impact caused the axe to bounce back and knock out George's front teeth. Running home to his father he said, "Father, I cannot tell a lie. John Adams called you a redcoat, and I punched him out...if you think my teeth look funny you should see John." He and his father then cut down the tree and fashioned wooden dentures for George.

Now these historians and technicians are using modern science and some computer gizmos to change all the wonderful tales of ole' GW. Now he will just be another boring action figure. Sure I'll bet they'll say he was an adventurer, a reckless and wild youth who escaped death many times during battle. They'll say he was an explorer who carved incessantly on everything "George Washington Slept Here". If you ask me he did more sleeping than exploring. It must be an exhausting vocation. And yes, they will say his teeth were not wooden at all, but ivory that when stained looked like wood. Sure... like anyone would stain ivory.

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