Cushioning the Walls

From my Associated Content page:

I have a 15 year old girl in "rebellion". Actually it is more like emancipation with the aid of "performance enhancing" hormones. However you define it, it is painful to experience.

The raving, the selective hearing, disobedience, and anger...primarily against one parent (sometimes both), is not an isolated stereotype. Mind you not all teens go through this period, but enough do to create a cultural icon of the raging teen. I have one and a pastor/friend of mine has one also.

In speaking with this friend about our travail he offered a way that is not so much a solution to the problem as a way to navigate through it. He called it "Cushioning The Walls". His point was that we may not be able to win our teens hearts and minds right away but we can and must protect them from hurting themselves.

A case in point: My daughter is excluding herself from our family by staying away with friends or locking herself in her room. This made it difficult for my wife and I especially during advent. We have a large family and the celebration of Christmas traditions is very important to us. The rest of our children actually WANTED to participate in family things and my daughter's absence is strikingly apparent. This gets a bit under my skin. That being said a recent blowout between she and I had her leaving to stay the night with a friend, to cool her jets so to speak. It is at this point that the pastor and I compared notes. Read More...

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